Application for role of interim coach of Western Force
Attn: RugbyWA CEO, Vern Read.
My name is Simon Powell. I am applying for the Interim Position (2011-12) coaching position.
I first started coaching in 1992 for the Katherine Lions Rugby Union Football Club (NT). From there I travelled to Sydney where I was part of the coaching team for the Royal Australian Air Force National Side 2000-2001.
After leaving the game behind for a period of time, I became a successful Customer Service specialist, although my truculent office antics have earned me no respect among my peers. After being arrested for drunken driving, I was sentenced to community service by coaching the local "Midnight Rugby" team in Richmond. I have a history with the sport, although my memories are far from pleasant: I blew a penalty kick, costing my team the title and disappointing my hyper-competitive coach, Eddie Jones.
When I first met the team, I realised the kids had no practice facility, equipment or ability to go with it. The team's first game with me at the helm was against my old team: the Hawks, the team from the snooty suburb of Windsor. Jones is still head coach and remained bitter about my shortcoming in that fateful game. Reilly even commented later when looking at the championship banners and disgustingly saying that the runner-up banner I earned should be taken down.
My team got pummelled and after, I berated the team for not listening to me. Meanwhile, I discovered my old mentor and family friend Hans who owns a nearby sporting goods store was in attendance. While visiting him, I recalled that he quit playing Rugby after losing his father four months before the championship game. Hans encourages me to rekindle my childhood passion.
Through hard work and communication, I managed to win back the team’s trust. We managed to make it to the championship game against the Hawks. Despite the Hawks' heavy attacks taking my best player out of the game, we managed to score the tying try and a foul in the final seconds of the game. I was supportive of my player, reassuring him that even if he fails it will be alright. He made the extra point using the shooting technique I taught him.
As detailed in my initial e-mail, I have a 6 step plan to improve the team, which I will summarise below.
Step 1: Room, chairs, phone numbers of players, possibly those funny “Hello, my name is…” nametags. We’ll then get the players to introduce themselves to each other.
Step 2: Organise the team by height. The smaller players will be backs, fatter players will be forwards.
Step 3: As a team we watch some previous games and discuss what went wrong and how we can improve.
Step 4: I will teach the players some fairly simplistic but useful set plays. I know you’re a busy man so I won’t bore you with the details. But they’ll be simple and effective.
Step 5: This will be training on an individual basis. Working on set piece, back line moves etc.
Step 6: Defense, lots of it. Also communication.
In conclusion, please consider me as a suitable candidate to be the next coach of the Western Force.
Thank you.
Simon Powell
(exile)
the following was stolen - and then slightly modified - from Sagerian with permission. A former member of TWF sadly misunderstood. the original plot for those who couldn't figure it out is from the Disney movie the mighty ducks. I believe Sage stole much of the plot outline from wikipedia. This is an attempt at humour and should be treated as such
