For TheInnFORCEr

Eddie McGuire flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play Aussie Rules and is sufficiently impressed to arrange for him to come over to Collingwood. He is signed to a one-year contract and the kid joins the team for a full pre-season.
Two weeks into the home and away season however, the Magpies are down by six goals against Carlton and only 10 minutes left on the clock. Nathan Buckley decides that with the game already lost, it is a good time to give the Iraqi kid a run; and what a decision it proves to be. The kid is an instant sensation – he kicks seven goals in 10 minutes and wins the game for the Magpies.
The fans are thrilled, his team mates love him, the coaches are delighted, and the press falls in love with this new superstar. When he finally gets away from the adoring masses and makes it to the changerooms, he phones his mum to tell her about his first day of AFL football. “Hello mum, guess what?” he says. I played for 10 minutes today, we were six goals down, but I booted seven goals . . . and won the game for us. Everybody loves me; the fans, the media . . .. . “Wonderful” says his mum interrupting him.
“Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and is in a serious condition, I was ambushed and beaten and robbed, your sister was raped, and your brother has joined a drug gang; and all the while you were having such a great time playing a game.”
The young Iraqi is very upset and says “What can I say Mum? I’m so very, very sorry.”

“Sorry, you’re sorry?” she screams into the phone . . . . . It’s your bloody fault we shifted to Collingwood in the first place!”