What Movember means to me
What Movember means to me,
You know I gotta admit, 12 months ago, even 6 months ago, Movember was just another Charity Fund Raiser that didn’t mean a whole lot to me. I have never considered myself a selfish person, nor someone that never gives money to charity, I do give money to Charity but it’s the big 3 (as I call it) Legacy, Salvo’s and the Cancer Council. I am not really sure why I have always supported them and not others, but that is what I do.
So why am I apart of Movember this year? That’s a long story, so settle in to your favorite chair we are going on another ride, although I will be straight with you. This one is not going to have a lot of humour in it. So please bare with me, I want to get this off my chest.
I have always considered myself to be a happy go lucky kind of guy. Yes I have a wacky (some would say strange) sense of humour, and I have always had some times when I preferred my own company. But the last couple of years have been tough. I couldn’t put my finger on it. And to be honest I still can’t. But I wasn’t the greatest person to be around. And if you were to ask Mrs. Exile, she wouldn’t say many nice things about me.
Then something happened that didn’t do much to help my state of mind. I lost a mate to Cancer, it wasn’t pretty and I helped him and his family out as best I could. But as it got towards the end – I was unable to go and visit him. To cut a long story short (well this part of it anyway) I never got to say goodbye. And I punished myself for a long time for not making time to go visit him when I should have. Every single member of my family, and his believed that I was being silly to beat up myself for no good reason. But I did. For a very long time.
Soon after my friend passed away I went and spoke with a councellor about how I was feeling, it was this councellors opinion that at a subconscious level I was avoiding seeing my friend because I was uncomfortable seeing him sick. And that is why I avoided him. It was my opinion that this councellor was full of shit and I didn’t go and speak with him again.
I wasn’t getting any better, 12 months later and it was affecting my job. I work in a call centre, I help people and give advice, every now and then I would get a call from someone who lost a loved one and it would personally upset me. Not the best thing for an Aussie bloke trying to give off a “tough guy” aura.
So I bit the bullet and I went and sat with another Councellor. He had me figured out in 15 minutes. He said you have Depression, you need medication, and everything is going to get better. It won’t be fixed at the end of this hour, but soon its going to feel like the weight of the universe has been lifted from your shoulders.
It took 4 months – but he was right. Not everything has been fixed, Mrs. Exile still doesn’t say a lot of nice things about me – she has put up with my crap for a very long time. I have a lot of bridges and fences to repair but if she can be patient with me a little bit longer I can now see a light at the end of the tunnel. My new friend John isn’t the answer for everyone, but there is help out there. Yes I am on monthly appointments with John, and daily medication. My pill makes all the difference in the world, the only problem is that it took 3 months to find the right pill and the right dosage. Once we found it – the universe did lift off my shoulders.
This article isn’t designed to garner pity for me, nor is it meant to explain some of my actions on site in the past - tho it helps. If my story sounds like you, or someone you know? Please go talk to a professional. Movember say that 1 in 6 men have Depression. If you can help I sure would appreciate it.
