Extra strong stitching on the tails too.....
Laura Force Addict v Chook scrabble-off on Facebook: laura & Force Addict 0 | chook 9
Gigsa made me do it
"He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty." – Lao Tzu
...sure, but it'll cost about $10,000Originally Posted by chook
I'll sell them inside a milk crate!!
BLACK IS THICKER THAN BLOOD
A slightly better attempt at humour (or maybe it is just the passage of time)
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Hammered quokkas hopping mad: we'll get them dirty Rottnest scoundrels
Andrew Webster - SMH
December 1, 2007
THE quokka allegedly flung through the air like a hammer throw has come out of hiding to send a chilling warning to the Western Force: "We want revenge - and we will get it."
Amid revelations this week that Force players went on a Rottnest Island rampage in which they terrorised the protected marsupials, the victim at the centre of the allegations has broken his silence because he fears a cover-up from the Super 14 club. Choking back tears, the distraught macropod recalled in an exclusive interview with the Herald that he feared for his life.
"I was just hopping about like I always do, minding my own business, sniffing things, looking around for some leftover sandwich crusts and then I'm being picked up by the tail and spun around like Wonder Woman's lasso," said the quokka, who declined to be named.
"Then I'm suddenly sailing through the air. For one moment there I didn't feel like a quokka but a quail. Then I hit the ground. I'm not too hurt. The tail's a bit sore but it'll come good. It's the mental scars I worry about."
The small but close-knit quokka community was last night bunkered down in their Rottnest Island stronghold, hiding under a bush and strategising a revenge attack.
But the quokka felt compelled to come forward because he feared Force management was not taking the complaints from an eyewitness seriously and would sweep the allegations under the carpet.
Earlier this week, Force management said four players had admitted to picking up quokkas and putting them down again but denied anything malicious had occurred.
"What a quok of s---!" the quokka fired. "They were treating us like we were a Gilbert. Some of them were pretending to score tries with us - heaven knows they can't do it in a game - others were trying to convert us from the sideline. I saw one of my friends getting drop-kicked from 50 metres out, right into the Fremantle Doctor. He shaved the right-hand upright.
"Some of them even tried to form a ruck and maul but we were too quick for them. We have a very deceptive sidestep. Actually, it's more of a hop. Anyway, they couldn't catch us. I can see why they didn't make the semis this year. They really should work on their defence."
The quokka said the worst part was that other Force players stood around and watched as the atrocities took place.
"Those laughs - I'll never forget those sickening laughs," he said, shaking. "They will haunt me for the rest of my life, which isn't going to be that long anyway. Dingoes can get very hungry."
Quokkas have come under plenty of attack from tourists and locals in the past. In 2003, up to 10 quokkas were found dead on the island after it was discovered teenagers were found guilty of playing the outlawed sport "quokka soccer".
At the time, it was reported as a disturbing variant on another sport: quokka hockey.
"Now it's the hammer throw," the quokka lamented. "Let's hope no one starts bringing three woods over. Look what it did for cane toads in Queensland. But why would anyone want to hurt us? We're cute and cuddly."
The quokka said footballers generally treated them with respect and this was an irregular occurrence.
"We've had the West Coast Eagles over here plenty of times and they just seem to dance a lot and drink heaps of bottled water and tell each other how much they love each other. They don't so much try to pick us up as pick us up, if you know what I'm saying.
"You always hear about footy players getting fiery on the drink, but until it actually happens to you, you've got no idea. The Force showed how stupid they were when they stole some beers from an Irish tourist. Stealing drink from a Paddy … I mean, how stupid can you get? They've had a Barry Crocker. A Barry Quokka, too."
But the quokka has sounded an ominous warning. If the Force did not reprimand their players, he said he and his community would fight back.
"We will get a posse together and then row across to Perth in the dead of night and then pick our time to pounce. Sorry, hop," he said. "We might be small, we might be cute, we might be cuddly, but let me say this to the Western Force. Ever heard of the boxing kangaroo? We just kicked its arse. Now we're coming for you."
Last edited by AndyS; 07-12-07 at 16:03. Reason: Don't know how the authorship got lost, but have to attribute where possible...
That's is so funny I just about hit the floor laughing.
80 Minutes, 15 Positions, No Protection, Wanna Ruck?
Ruck Me, Maul Me, Make Me Scrum!
Education is Important, but Rugby is Importanter!
Pure gold....Wonder who the editor is???
Proudly bought to you by a brewery somewhere....
That's how it SHOULD have been. Piss Funny!
C'mon the
not me, bit that little idiot gave away our plans.
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