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The Emirates Western Force over the past 2 days has been conducting player reviews.
Cunningly disguised as a removalist and I managed to overhear most of the reviews.
Mark Bartholomeusz
RG: Mate, what happened to your arm?
MB: Its fucked mate.
RG: Fuck, that’s sucks! Enjoy retirement and thanks for your work.
Richard Brown
RG: Brownie, how did you think you went this season?
RB: Not sure boss. But I know I went better then that pussy Cliffy Palau. And I topped the Force tackle count.
RG: Yeah, true. OK. Cya at pre-season ok.
RB: Yeah, just gotta sort these counts out at the ARU about my contract.
Nathan Charles
RG: Cheese, where are you?
(Voice from outside) – Some blokes from TWF took him to JB O’Reilly’s .
RG: OK. Tell him don’t be late for pre season.
Pekahou Cowan
RG: Pek, great season mate till you copped the knock in the head.
PC: I don’t recall.
RG: What have the medical staff said?
PC: I’dont recall.
RG: OK mate. Cya for pre-season.
Nick Cummins
RG: How did you think your season went Nick?
NC: I am the Honey Badger!!
RG: Oh fuck off. I think Robbie wants to see you too. So improve on your turnover in the tackle or you’ll be back here in a month for pre-season!!
Patrick Dellit
RG: So Paddy, good season mate. Got any pictures of your girlfriend?
PD: Huh?
Matt Dunning
MD: Je veux un communiqué afin que je puisse jouer en France!
RG: Huh? Piss off and stay away from the BBQ until I’ve finished talking to everyone.
MD: Je peux déposer objectifs.
Gene Fairbanks
RG: Ya good mate?
GF: Yeah, bring on pre-season.
Tim Fairbrother
RG: Sorry to see you go mate.
TF: Yeah, well tell Robbie to get fucked!
Tom Hockings
RG: I’ve got a copy of a letter I sent to Sam Wykes this time last year. I suggest you read it very carefully!
TH: OK
Matt Hodgson
RG: Great season Hodgo. I notice you have 2 Rolex’s there on your arm. Can I borrow one. I’m pretty sure you have a new one coming your way soon.
MH: Yeah, sure mate.
RG: Good luck in WRC.
Mitch Inman
RG: Anyone seen Mitch?
(Voice from outside) Who cares!!
Jono Jenkins
RG: Not a great start 2 season’s in a row Jono. Break a leg last year and a Yellow this year for a total of 2 minutes. Cya
JJ: Thanks Boss. I’ll go cook some 2 minute noodles for lunch.
Alfie Mafi
RG: How did you think you went this season Alfie?
AM: Yeah good Bro.
RG: You dropped a bit of form there in the middle.
AM: Yeah, good bro.
RG: Cya pre-seaon.
AM: Yeah good bro.
Kieran Longbottom
RG: Outstanding season K-Bum.
KL: Thats K-Bomb
RG: Yeah, right. Look, if someone rings you with a Kiwi accent take him seriously OK? Now go out and belt Dunning to keep him away from the BBQ.
KL: Yes Boss!
Ben McCalman
RG: Maddog, you fucked up badly with 3 turnovers last game. Hope you don’t do that when you get to Wallabies training camp.
BM: Sorry Boss
James O'Connor
JOC: Yes?
RG: Fuck Off!
David Pocock
RG: David, let us pray. Dear God, don’t let David get injured for the next 2 years.
DP: Amen.
Willie Ripia
RG: Now Willie, were you hiding anything from the Medical staff?
WR: No boss, but I got Cory and M’a’s mobile numbers if ya want?
RG: No Willie, lets talk about your foot.
WR: But Boss, I got the boys mobiles for ya!
Nathan Sharpe
RG: Nath...matteee......can I get you a cup of tea?
NS: Thanks mate.
RG: Can I go get you some biscuits Nath?
NS: No mate, its cool.
RG: So, mate, how did I go this year? Everything OK?
Brett Sheehan
RG: Solid year Brett.
BS: Ya want me to belt Dunning for ya?
RG: Yeah, sure. Go ahead. See you at pre-season.
Cameron Shepherd
RG: Cam, Cam, these last minute injuries have got to stop.
CS: Sorry Boss.
RG: And stay off the Piss!!
Rory Sidey
RG: Good year for you mate.
RS: Yeah, feels better to be playing in this colour Blue, much better then that other poofy blue.
David Smith
RG: Thanks for your efforts this year mate.
DS: Thanks Bro. Cya in a couple years.
James Stannard
RG: Chuck, WTF did you learn to play like that?
JS: Bloke named Fulvio at Palmyra taught me all I know.
Mark Swanepoel
RG: Nice pass. Learn to tackle.
MS: OK Boss.
Ben Whittaker
RG: Here’s your KPI’s for next year.
BW: Fuck!
Sam Wykes
RG: You still got that letter I gave you last year?
SW: Yup
RG: Give it to Hockings and then get a haircut.
Last edited by Unnamed Sauces; 22-06-11 at 07:26.
i like the sharpie one the most.
Was thinking of doing an end of season review myself, but, lets face it, this is pretty much all you need to know!
I like the one's for Chucky and Alfie, chur
Look's like Richard likes it too
~4 hours ago
Richard Graham
@thewholeforce haha! I have just cut and paste for Board Report!
80 Minutes, 15 Positions, No Protection, Wanna Ruck?
Ruck Me, Maul Me, Make Me Scrum!
Education is Important, but Rugby is Importanter!
NC: I am the Honey Badger!!
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"Bloody oath we did!"
Nathan Sharpe, Legend.
Brilliant!!
'king great!
May the FORCE be with you!