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IT WAS just four days after his friend's death that Patrick Phibbs realised Shawn Mackay was still with him. Still with them all.
As rain teemed down at Canberra Stadium, the mourning Brumbies were battling their way through a match against the Stormers when halfback Phibbs powered his way over the line to seal a brave win.
Emotions flow after winning try against the Stormers
With grief and joy crashing down all at once, Phibbs clutched his jersey above the heart and looked skyward.
"I hadn't scored a try all year, and then of all games it was that one,'' Phibbs recalls. "That moment, it was pretty overpowering.
"It flash-backed a lot of memories in an instant and I just knew he was up there, looking down on us. He had to be.''
Fast forward six months and though the pain of Mackay's passing has eased slowly, Phibbs' conviction about his teammate's presence is as strong as ever.
Tomorrow, there'll be little doubt in all the Brumbies and Randwick players that Mackay will be cheering on his mates and his club as they take on Sydney University in the Shute Shield Grand Final.
The sad death in April of the 26-year-old forward in a tragic hit-run accident while touring with the Brumbies in South Africa is never far from the minds of all at the Wicks.
Though a professional journeyman, Mackay always had myrtle green pumping through his veins. A bloke so loyal to the joint, Phibbs reckons, his spot in heaven would have a good vantage point above Coogee Oval.
"Or maybe Clovelly - he always wanted real estate over there,'' Phibbs laughs.
"He is never out of my head, really, Macca. He is always there above us for a lot of the players and our friends.
"I played with him in a 2004 winning second grade Grand Final. And then in 2006 when Uni knocked us off [in first grade]. So I am sure Macca will be up there looking down at us, excited about the game and hopefully getting us across the line.''
After 35 games for the Brumbies, Phibbs is known as one of the tougher customers in Australian rugby. But the 27-year-old's resilience was tested just weeks after being a pall-bearer at the funeral of his childhood mate, Phibbs' beloved grandmother died as well.
"It's been a tough year, but in saying that, the heartache pushed me forward,'' Phibbs said. "You found yourself questioning about how important rugby is and so on. But I realised I still have a huge passion for the game.''
That drive has been clear to see in Phibbs' strong form for Randwick and positioned him as one of several contenders pushing for a spot on the Wallabies' Grand Slam tour in tomorrow's Grand Final.
In a season where the Wallabies too often lacked hard-nosed aggression, Phibbs' robust style at halfback could be just the ticket on the battlefields of Europe.
Randwick skipper Stephen Hoiles believes Phibbs could handle the step up after four years with ACT; the last two blossoming out of George Gregan's shadow.
"He is not your typical halfback, he's a strong, ninth-forward type. He is going to get himself dirty and lead from the front,'' Hoiles said.
"Everyone at the Brumbies and Randwick love playing with him.''
Phibbs says nothing would make him prouder than wearing a gold jersey - "it is definitely burning inside me'' - but ambition can wait. A Randwick premiership and tribute to an absent friend come first.
"You can't sit back and dwell about what may come in the future,'' Phibbs says. "I have learned that this year. You have to focus on what is ahead of you right now. I think I've learned a lot from Macca ... I know I have.''
Shawn Mackay with his father former Rooster John
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