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Einstein, Newton and Pascal were having tea together in cafeteria. Einstein was getting bored so he suggested playing a game of hide-and-seek.
He started counting 1 to 100 and asked Newton and Pascal to hide. Pascal ran to other room and hid himself behind the closet. Newton just stood there and drew a square of 1 m with chalk on the floor and stepped into the square and waited for Einstein to finish counting.
Einstein opened his eyes and exclaimed: “I found you Newton”.
Newton said: “No you haven’t, you found one newton per square meter. You found Pascal”.
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'Rugby and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.' -anonymous
Reminds me of the one about St Peter welcoming people at the pearly gates and working out how he would converse with them based on IQ. Starting with Einstein and working down.
The sliding scale bottoms out when St Pete welcomes an AFL supporter with "Carna Pies".
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One atom said to the other "How you doing"
"Not so good I've lost all my electrons" replies the other atom
The first atom says "Are you sure?"
Second atom: "I'm positive"
Geek pick-up lines:
I wish I could be your derivative so I could be tangent to your curves.
Hey babe, wanna see the exponential growth of my natural log?
Baby, I know my chemistry, and you’ve got one significant figure.
If I were an enzyme I’d be DNA Helicase so I could unzip your genes.
Hey, baby; wanna test the ‘k’ of my bedsprings?
Are you the square root of 2? Because I feel irrational when I am around you.
How can I know so many hundreds of digits of pi and not the digits of your phone number?
"Bloody oath we did!"
Nathan Sharpe, Legend.
How have those lines been working out for you Burgs?
Just fine.
Burgs scores a Daisy a day.
Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here!" Argon doesn't react.
Udder bull!
You ever tried milking a bull? It's gross.