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As good as this bar is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs
back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The
landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks,
he'll buy the fifth drink."
"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London, the Red
Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first
two."
"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Irishman, "back home in Cork at my
favourite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a
drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then, when you've had
enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid,
all on the house!"
The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of these claims. The
Irishman swore every word was true, but they asked, "Did this actually
happen to you?"
"Not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman, "but it did
happen to me sister quite a few times.