6
Well, this is it.
20,000 posts up and Todd4 requested something thought provoking and detailed, so instead of my usual shouting ignorance at you all and taking the piss out of X, I thought I'd try and do something useful. Looking into my crystal ball (sounds dirty) and predicting every Wallabies game of RWC 2023 just for a laugh (and so you lot can hang unlimited shit upon me when I get everything completely wrong.
Step 1: the Touring Squad
Now, please note, this is a prediction, not an endorsement. I'm going to try to guess all the moves Eddie will make (or be forced to make) not the players I'd pick. Squad size is 33 for World Cup. I'm going to try and ignore injuries, because current injuries might be rehabilitated in time and some blokes who are currently locked in might miss due to injuries that haven't occurred yet. I'm also predicting that Eddie will be successful in having the Giteau Cap lifted to 5 since we're in a World Cup year (and stuff like that has happened before)
Angus Bell
Dave Porecki - Waratahs
Taniela Tupou - Reds
James Slipper - Brumbies
Folau Faingaa - Force
Alan Alaalatoa - Brumbies
Nick Frost - Brumbies
Caderyn Neville - Brumbies
Richie Arnold - Giteau
Jed Holloway - Waratahs
Michael Hooper - Waratahs
Langi Gleeson - Waratahs
Rob Valetini - Brumbies
Pete Samu - Brumbies
Fraser McReight - Reds
Tom Hooper - Brumbies
Nic White - Brumbies
Ryan Lonergan - Brumbies
Jake Gordon - Waratahs
Quade Cooper - Giteau
Ben Donaldson - Waratahs
Samu Kerevi - Giteau
Len Ikitau - Brumbies
Lalakai Foketi - Waratahs
Isaiah Perese - Waratahs
Marika Koroibete - Giteau
Andrew Kellaway - Rebels
Mark Nawaqanitawase - Waratahs
Max Jorgenson - Waratahs
Tom Wright - Brumbies
Reece Hodge - Rebels
Lachie Lonergan - Brumbies
Tom Banks - Giteau
I think this is pretty close, two full teams with some backup in the specialist areas of 2 and 9, no backup required for 7, where McReight will likely only get minutes against tacklebags. Heavily focused upon his favourite Super Rugby team, but that'll only dominate the 50-50 selections because Eddie might be biased, but he's not an idiot. (I might just be wrong about Donaldson, but I picked him because he's a good Randwick boy and I think that'll tip the scales for Eddie.
Game One - Aus vs Geo 10 Sept Stade de France
Lineup - well I think Georgia will suffer badly through being the first cab off the rank and Eddie not having a lot of rugby into the team yet. Yes there'll be some speculative selections, however for the most part, Eddie will name a strong team to build cohesion and get minutes into the legs of his fringe players by substituting early. Expect to see Tupou for a bunch of minutes, Gleeson off the pine early and the likes of Donaldson etc being assessed in this game.
The game will clearly go as planned, but we'll see at least a few problems in the Wallabies lineup that need sorting on the field. Georgia (if they're smart) will attack the Wallabies set piece and try to play the ball on the floor as much as they can.
Result Australia by several (let's call it 4 tries) but not the blowout everybody's expecting because Eddie will have pulled some wrong reins in selection due to his obsession with NSW rugby.
Game 2 - Aus vs Fiji 17 Sept Geoffroy-Guichard
Lineup - since we now march onto the first real test of RWC for the Wallabies, Eddie will continue to name a strong team, but have a bit more information about who is up to the standard and who will gel best. Expect to see combinations in the front row (likely Alalatoa, Faingaa, Slipper to start) and the best options he can find in the back 5. Eddie will go big in the backs for Fiji, so options such as Kerevi not negotiable at 12, Hodge on the bench, Banks to fullback etc.
The game will be close for much of it, with Australia trying to play tight, but due to their size, not being able to really cope with the clash of styles and the Fijian offload game. Fiji will enter the last 20 within sight of taking it out, but ultimately fall short due to fitness.
Game 3 - Wales vs Aus 25 Sept Groupama Stadium
The Wallabies will come into this match high on their own press knowing that Wales is in even more shit than they are. Eddie will mess with the selections, throwing some surprises into the mix. Expect to see Jorgensen get his crack (because the kid is quick and a bloody good rugby player) and possibly some other fun ones like Tupou starting and Holloway in 6 (where I think he should be)
This will be one of those games where they'll get smacked in the mouth early as Wales have finally rediscovered how to play Warrenball again and the arrogant selections of some blokes above their ability/experience will bear fruit in the wrong direction. Wales will be coming of a loos to Fiji, where they learned a lot and a big win over Portugal where they gained some confidence. At the end of the day, Wales, even with Gatland at the helm are genuinely a bigger disaster than the Wallabies and they'll be in the changerooms after the game lamenting the fact that they're undoubtedly the best team in the world at losing rugby games.
Australia by 2 off a kick after the siren.
Game 4 - Australia vs Portugal 1 Oct Geoffroy-Guichard
The Wallabies will return to this weirdly named stadium full of piss and vinegar after a lucky last minute win against the hapless Taffies. They'll be thinking about their 3-zip record and name ALL of their fringe players to get some game time into them. The Giteau boys will get a rest (apart from Arnold, who'll start a game for the first time in the tournament) and the finishers will consist of whoever is lowest on the totem pole amongst the regular first 15.
This will go pear shaped, and Aus will struggle to put the lowly europeans to the sword, never playing convincing rugby but still winning it by 21.
That's the pools done and dusted, with the Wallabies on a 4-0 record without having played a single opponent of any real quality (and having only just fallen over the line against both Fiji and Wales)
Into the knockout rounds, I need to have a guess at the other pools so
Pool A
First - France
Second - New Zealand
Pool B
First - Ireland
Second - South Africa
Pool C
First - Wallabies
Second - Fiji
Pool D
First - England
Second - Argentina
That sets up the following Quarter Finals
QF 1 Wallabies vs Argentina 14 Oct Stade de Marseille
QF 2 Ireland vs New Zealand 14 Oct Stade de France - oooooh, close one. Foster in charge and recent form prompts me to pick Ireland
QF 3 England vs Fiji 15 Oct Stade de Marseille - England will squeak through
QF 4 France vs South Africa 15 Oct Stade de France - France will win this convincingly, South African fans will throw the ref on a braii
Wallabies vs Argentina 14 Oct Stade de Marseille
Since this will be the first actually challenging game for the chocolate soldiers, they'll make sure all stops are pulled out for it. Every top contender will be picked in their correct position, Eddie will no longer be stuffing around, apart from playing bullshit games with the press and baiting Cheika through the press. Eddie will win the battle of wits and Argentina will suffer for it. Eddie will taunt Cheika into playing exactly the game he wants and Australia needs and the Aussies will take the chocolates on the back of Argentine errors and discipline which can be traced directly back to the fact that Cheika is dumb and arrogant. This won't be a win to be proud of, but the Aussie Rugby press will se it to paper over the cracks in the Aussie team pretending that they're world beaters for at least another week.
This means the Semi Finals will be
SF 1 Wallabies vs Ireland 20 Oct Stade de France
SF 2 England vs France 21 Oc Stade de France
Wallabies vs Ireland 20 Oct Stade de France
OK, by this stage, the Aussie rugby press will be fizzing at the bung. After getting to the Semi Finals of Rugby World Cup undefeated, the Wallabies will be touted as the next dynasty in international rugby. Mediocre players will be pushed as superstars of the game and the Golden age of Rugby in Australia will have clearly begun.
Eddie will name his strongest possible side for this one, knowing that Ireland actually deserve some respect, but he will come armed with the confidence that the Wallabies ALSO beat the All Blacks in a Bledisloe game earlier this year (there's a bonus prediction for you, Fossie will also bottle a Bled match, but will retain the cup by playing one of the two games at Eden Park)
The press rhetoric and Eddie's best efforts to build a team with confidence, quality and a playing style that can win world cups will crash headlong into reality as they play the only genuine tier one team so far this World Cup. It'll be messy, It'll be a train wreck, It'll be entirely expected.
The Wallabies will bow out in the semis, to raucous cheers of how well they did, pundits suggesting that those results make them better than the All Blacks and the Springboks but the realists will know the truth.
France and Ireland will meet a week later to battle out a match worthy of the title World Cup Final with the winner being decided by HOME GROUND ADVANTAGE! (ie multiple replays of a pretty close to legal tackle causing the crowd to hoot, holler and whistle and getting somebody sent off)
so that's it
20,000 down
Was it everything you expected Todd or was it just a lot more of the same bullshit!
GIGS out