Dockers fan

[Flamethrower]

A FREMANTLE fan died on match day and went to heaven in his Fremantle jumper. He knocked on the pearly gates and out walked St Peter in an Eagles scarf.
“Sorry, mate, no Dockers fans allowed in,” said St Peter.
“But I’ve been a good man,” replied the bloke. “Three weeks before I died I donated $20 to the starving kiddies in Africa.”
“Oh,” said St Peter. “Anything else?”
“Two weeks before I died I gave $20 to a homeless beggar,” he replied.
“Hmmm. Is that it?” inquired St Peter.
“A week before I died I sent $20 to an Albanian orphanage,” pleaded the Fremantle fan.
“OK, wait here while I go and have a word to the boss.”
St Peter returned 10 minutes later, looked the bloke in the eye and said, “I’ve had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here’s your $60 back, now piss off.”

[shasta]

Three dead men were lined up at the Pearly Gates when St Peter opens them up and says,

"G'day blokes. The boss already knows your all very good citizens we just have to decide what section to put you in. We decide this by your IQ"

The first bloke says his is 135.

StP replies "OK you'll go to the rugby players section. You'll be able to discuss the wonders of the universe, quantum physics, rugby etc with the rest of the players over afew beers after training"

The second has in IQ 115.

"OK you can go with the Mungos. They discuss subjects like politics and current affairs, all sports and tell neat jokes about those poofy rah-rahs."

The third says "My IQ is apparently 70. By the way what's an IQ?"

St Peter says "What about dem Eagles, eh? Bloody Cuzzie! Bloody genious! Go Juddy! Where can I git me summa dose drugs."