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Good evening Punters, chat report is so hot off the press the ICC is going to replace me with Bill Bowden next week!
The World News: Made up right here!
Roll call:
Coach
Exile
Jehna
The Lone Hydrangea
Travelling Gerry
Blueandblack
FLamethrower
Alcoholic Stalker
Badger
Chook / Innocent Quokka
Jargan
Harry
GIGS20
Jess ( no late note )
I jumped in a bit early after a long time away training monkeys and the first comment I see is
"how do you fight a computer?"
THankyou for keeping the nerds busy during daylight hours LarryNJ
AS is loosing kilo's running around after her young prop Ben, who after collapsing (presumably in a mini maul with a ted-e-bear of some kind) is now sleeping, AS is now drinking - we assume ...
Before we get too serious there was mention of climate change (Who voted Rudd???) namely as fart power? B&B is sitting (literally) on the next delsalination plant in his lounge room. Gnangarra mound look out!
Random comment of the night ... LarryNJ forgets who he is and refers to all men as assholes or "arse holes" as the Yankolator 5000 translates into.
TLH arrives and shouts me a Magners and everyone else a big black dog. Larry is happy (no i'm happy) and is looking forward to getting a pet but is concerned which colour (or color as the Toorightolator 6000e translates to), Flamethrower has already strung his dog up and is having a Guy Fawkes night while on chat!
Chook has dangling saggily bits which are shaved - Krusher then quits, coincidence, I think not!
Jehna arrives and the word porn in mentioned, coincidence .. probably
B&B gets rid of his Jenny Craig books and signs up for the tapeworm diet he saw posted in another IRC channel. Disturbing images!!! FT suggest his broken jaw diet is not only just as good, but cheaper and is a tax deduction now Julia Gillard in our deputy pm.
Exile arrives and promotes everyone to some sort of higher authority, the higher ones immediately become managers and forget whay they're supposed to do. The lower ones start complaining the higher ones never listen to them, until the word porn in mentioned again and TLH gets a warning!
Burgs dilemma about no rugby while he is away starts ideas of how to get podcasts to him .. but as much as it might sound helpful, if he has time to listen to a pod cast then he isn't doing things properly! What happens overseas stays overseas Burgs, except the weekly report expected from you on TWF!!!
Coach has been given a green slip for drinks at tomorrow .. at least he is waiting to be given permission to ask for one! Rugby Widow is yet to make up her mind, but is "a good stick" according to our beaten little chief!
Someone suggests a threesome between Beaver / Badger and Innocent Quokka would be good craic, might bring in some money if we filmed it at night with the green infared aka paris hilton productions. Post it up on youtube for all to see, laugh and make complaints to the RSPCA over!
Larry leaves to iron his shirt, presumable while still wearing it because that's the way he rolls!
Chook leaves
Innocent Quokka arrives and immediately discredits Chook and his dangling saggily bits
It is about this time I get diagnosed with... I mean delivered the news I'm chat reporter - hope it is up to scratch so far, or it is my one and only gig!
Everyone decides to change their text colours, too many MAN PEOPLE who have chosen pink this little black duck is thinking!!
Innocent Quokka announces his match payment fees is now only $10,000 .. throw in some steak knives and you might get a deal IQ .. You better be a good signing or we might just start doing some Japanese Scientific Research on your arse, quokka kebabs anyone??
And after a couple of hours the topic finally turns to that popular topic everyone is talking about! No not if Jargan can last more than the 3 pints on friday night that the bookies have given him. But the Cricket .. or more precisely the trouble with the cricket, or .. not to put a too finer point on it .. those bloody Indians who have given the ICC and our zinc covered monkey a right royal curry stuffing! Innocent Quokka doesn't understand cricket so just keeps telling everyone how old he is. But then leaves because there's "too many vagina jokes" ... lay off the drugs IQ, or double the dose - one of them has to work!
NEWS JUST IN: Beaver is dead......
... tired from TLH working him too hard.
TLH suggests quokkas suck and Jargan wants to sacrifice them .. I still reckon the kebab is less wastefull and a lot leaner, Quokka - the other white meat!
Jehna leaves and so does Badger <insert rumour here>
TLH is delighted when he discovers a pork rack hiding at the back of his freezer, so much so he announces it's the best pork he's ever had .. Mrs TLH has since declined to comment!
Jargan leaves after his 3rd pint, comes back again and blames it on "dial up" ... yes Jargan it's always the dial up!!!! He is looking foward to some drinks at on Friday which he insist's he doesn't know where it is, what happens there or how much weed to pack. Yes jargan .. blame it on the dialup!
Flamethrower saw a house of ill repute, presumable on cambridge street. I've seen a few made of bricks and a couple of tree's .. I dunno who is selling repute or how much it costs and if it is anything like a pork rack TLH is your man!
Someone pulled a plug out and Exile Flame Thrower and Coach has left <insert rumour number 2 here>
yadda yadda yadda bad guy enters and gets killed .. hero gets the girl .. fades out, credits roll just as GIGS20 and Harry arrive ... checking their tickets they have the wrong session time! Better luck next time lads!!
Good Night
God Speed
See you at the WACA!