0
Morning punters heres the news hot off the TWF press
Honour Roll.
Coach
Exile
Beav
Travelling Gerry
Alcolohic Stalker
BlueandBlack
ORegan
Shaun
Happy
Pruc
Evie
RugbyFan
The aka Tif
Larry from Joisey
Jazza93
Jess
Jedi Knight
Emforcer
Lonzy
Lets rip into it. Been absent for a few weeks so this report could be dodgy and a little suss since I haven't seen a biro for awhile.Dont worry, i will not let the facts get in the way of a good story( i should be working at the Sunday Times)
Lob in at 7.24 and a few familar friendly faces in da house. Alcolohic Stalker aka Brisvegas who happens to be in the pudding club has now been given a new handle, by signed decree from the upper echelons of the Chat(X).
To coincide with the bun in the oven, AS is now known as Mama Stalker!
This is a seriously cool handle, and by christ Mama obviously enjoyed the change in moniker cause Mama had a blinder of a night.
Mr Blue who done a arse kicking job of chat reportage in my absense is securing his premises prior to being overwhelmed by a visit from some undesirable, ie his brother.Cant beat family eh Mr Blue!
Beav has invited the Tlh's to come and watch him belt those shirt lifting Guildford Grammar rugby nancy boys on the 27.07.07.Nice young shaver the Beav(most of the time).We will be there and will bring a biro for any potential scoops as well.
With my strong medical background i suspect Mama Stalker is battling a few hormonal attacks.Mama has screeched that some dirty, scum sucking, bottom feeding, oxygen thief has stolen her chocolate.Now this is just not on and to compound the problem there is some little piano playing sucker who lives over the road continually playing chopsticks, much to Mamas delight.
Jason the forgotten man in this story has done the only wise and sensible thing and has done a runner and locked himself in the cupboard.
The chat is going like the clappers and ive gone through 1 biro already.All sorts of weird and wonderful topics are being covered. Beav waffling on about Maccaroni Cheese, X dribbling on about the Ghost who walks, and if im not mistaken Miss Evie mentioned that brain cancer causing mag the Womens Weekly Even Coach has lost the plot and is having cake issues at home and is beside himself with worry.
Shaun is hyperventilating.Lets talk rugby, so we do.Suggest Force by 12 in my humble opinion. Should be a cracker of a game to celebrate our first home win.Lions will be a handful but the good guys will prevail
Ah a new member knocks on the door and enters.The The arrives.The The is actually the Tif if you get my drift. so am i.Tif logs on via Latvia(home of some visiting skanks if i remember rightly) and is given the The handle.Some of our more astute chat crew didnt have a smick who the The was. Love ya work Tif.
Ah Larry from Joisey pops in, looking sharp as a pound of mince.Explain to Larry to historic qualities of our win in Pretoria last week.One game to stick in the vault and drag out and watch for years to come.
Travelling Gerry has been extremely quiet.Something to do about being less than generous in some of his betting odds. Actually Gerry gets both barrells from some disgruntled punters.Gerry being the bookie he is and cunning as a shithouse rat can see a potential, trouble at mill scenario, generously offers easy money for chat attendees.This goes over a treat with all and i personally retract any snide, nasty remarks i may of inadvertently said about you Gerry. You are indeed a kind and generous fellow.
Meanwhile back in da house, chat is going a million miles an hour.
Shaun is aware of girl germs apparently and more importantly what has this got to do with rugby Shaun?
Lonz our resident master artist has got Gits to sign her new paintings and are currently available for purchase for any TWFer. Sage has posted Gits looks like Darth Vader.Im sure Lonz may discuss this with him in Sydney next week!
Im enjoying the night big time with a few bevvies courtesy of Happy till that nazi Quiz Em pops in. Mention quiz in any form and bloody Gerry and Jedi start of with their mutual admiration society, Barwick Estates, god we are awesome etc etc. Quiz starts and im left in the starting blocks. Frustrated with some adjudications and drop the magic word.After 10 lashes with a wet bootlace i gather my compsure.I apologize for dropping the magic word especially in da house full of ladies.
X has a had a gutfull of some of the little tackers and is cutting a swathe through them. Even Egan gets the lemon and sarse, just for being Egan.
Jess suggests lighting some relaxation candles, so i basically light up Guildford and im feeling warm and fuzzy.This new age caper works.
Night is drawing to a close, Mama Stalker is playing a blinder.Everyone is happy. Happy is in da house somewhere getting a grip. Punters waffling on about nazi dictators, mungoes etc
Bouquets.
Lovely to see so many ladies in da house
Quotes of the night.There are plenty
I'm back, the brats are at school and the bitch is still sleeping...so peaceful. Author L.F.J.
Check out these crackers!
My head hurts, my feet stink and i dont love Jesus...
Author: Jimmy Buffett quoted by X
My baby is kindly rearranging my organs again and it friggin hurts
My baby has a brain
Its outside and i dont want Possum disease
Author: Mama Stalker
Thanks to all who rocked up, fun as usual.
This time next week the InnFORCERs will be on tour in Sydney and on behalf of our tour guru Tif and the travelling crew we will do TWF proud.
God Speed
Tlh