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On a bitterly cold morning in Canberra, Lord Kevin is being chauffeured to Parliament House. It is so cold that Lake Burley Griffin has frozen over.
As he jumps out of the Caprice, Lord Kevin looks over the Lake & notices that someone has pissed on the ice & left a message....."KEVVY SUCKS".
Lord Kevin is enraged & orders the ASIO to investigate with "no expenses spared" & to report within two weeks.
Two weeks later, the head of ASIO reports to the PM & says...."our investigation is over & I have three pieces of news for you....good news, bad news & terribly bad shocking news".
Well says Lord Kevin, give me the good news. The head of ASIO says..."We spent $5 million dollars on the investigation & have come to a successful result".
Well says Lord Kevin "What's the bad news?"
The head of ASIO says "The DNA testing shows the urine is Wayne Swann's".
Lord Kevin is shocked beyond belief. Looking pale, Lord Kevin says "And what is the terribly bad shocking news?"
The ASIO chief replies...."Further forensic testing conclusively shows it's Julia Gillard's hand writing".