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![Not allowed!](images/buttons/up_dis.png)
Hello everyone,
*takes a big, deep breath*
It feels like a billion years since I’ve written one of these things but here I am again wearing the chat reporters hat that was thrust on my head against my will. Luckily I was quickly brought around when I was informed it would make Matty happy and that I was even lucky enough get one of those cool ‘@’ symbols next to my name during chat. Always wanted one of those!
Anywho...
Honour Role (in order of appearance):
Beav (Matty)
Blueandblack
Flamethrower
Badger84
Jess
Oxleymoron
Travelling_gerry
Swee_82
Pieter_blackie
Coach
Tragic
GIGS20
Exile
Skizza
TQ1
Maelkann
Jargan83
TLH
Pruc
Neogirl
No.8
Jono
Paula
I rock up at shortly after chat opens and am greeted by the earliest of early birds, Matt, B&B, FT and Badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger mushroom mushroom. Looks like this mob must have been sitting outside waiting for the doors to open and all tumbled in and straight away vbeverages are being handed out left right and centre. It’s going to be a long night!
Straight away I put my foot square in my mouth when I ask who’s chat reporter for tonight, not realising that apparently asking is the same as volunteering. Must have missed that memo but who am I to argue with the rules.
Oxleymoron rocks up amidst exchanging of amusing URLs and then those four words that will bring a grown man to his knees in fits of uncontrollable sobbing are uttered... 2 girls 1 cup. I inform the gang that there has since been a sequel, 4 girls fingerpaint. I can highly suggest that anyone in their right mind, should stay away from both episodes. If you must however, make sure you have a bucket nearby.
B&B tries to have certain comments omitted from the report but I inform everyone that as they forced me into writing the report... I will write what I please. No censoring for this little chicken. Suffer in your jocks you lot.
Everyone’s favourite worldly fella, Travelling_Gerry and he gets one of those ‘@’ things straight away. This must mean he’s really really important. We all knew that anyway.
Partners in crime, Gerry and FT immediately begin plotting to get all the TWFers to spam Burg’s sms inbox so when he gets off the plane his message bank is well and truly full. So everyone... show Burgs the love!
Swee_82 rocks up and can’t believe that in the time it took to go to tennis and come home, Sheps is now out for this week. Gerry announces it’s all Swee’s fault but before anyone can get upset, Daisy waddles in and starts talking about crapping on Beav’s lawn. Very distracting thought.
Everyone’s favourite new member Pieter_blackie strolls in and makes his chat virginity painfully obvious by asking too many questions. At least Matty has the answers.
RugbyWidow/Coach (our humble leader) makes a grand entrance and is praised and welcomed by his loyal subjects. Especially Daisy who announces ‘Bloody hell the boss is here!’
Daisy then becomes the first victim of the new improved chatnight rules and is promptly booted by Beav for some filthy language. It's a G rated affair my friend!
Exile enters and starts handing out roses. He sure knows how to keep the TWF female population happy. Speaking of happy and female populations... looking forward to seeing your lovely jacket again when the weather gets cold.
Then something extraordinary happens... something that no one could have possibly expected and possibly defied the very fundamental laws of nature and physics...
We actually talked about rugby!! Talked about the positive media coverage of the boys in south Africa, particularly the Generation Y charity Pocock and Holmes have set up and then had a chat about O’Young coming back into the fold and Flamethrower asked several times (in vain) if anyone had seen him play any rugby lately. We’ll be seeing him play soon enough FT.Also talked about Sheps knee which is agreed is a ‘craptacular’ turn of events. Just what we didn’t need!
B&B keeps the punters happy by wheeling around the vbeverage cart and people grab glasses of their poison left right and centre. Despite popular belief, Jargan doesn’t have a drinking problem and has been sober since last Friday. Have a big one tomorrow night! The ‘liver of iron’ is bad and needs to be punished.
Skizza can’t believe how many have turned up for chat and neither can I because I work out how long this chat report is going to take me to write! Mission! At least I got my shiny new @. Helps me sleep at night. Moving right along...
We witness what I’m sure is a first for TWF... an online ‘time for bed’ instruction from No.8, spoken by TQ1 to young Neogirl. She doesn’t go quietly but is eventually dragged kicking and screaming out the chat doors. Parents: 1, Neogirl: 0.
Attempting to come across as a cool uncle, Coach announces she can stay up and eat cake just as No.8 rolls in, probably on the now vacant computer.Just in time for an exchange of ‘that time I got drunk and passed out on a train’ stories. Surprisingly lots of people have one of those!
Then there is talk of the late night shenanigans of those who stayed up until the wee hours of Wednesday morning for the result of the Henjak hearing, who posted a thread announcing they’d both gotten off with a $500 fine in order to do a spot of late night fishing. Apparently it worked as it was reported on Skynews.com but has since been removed. That’s a pretty big fish! We were just hoping to get Force1 but sky news?!? That’s worth mounting on the wall! Oh and contrary to popular belief, it wasn’t my idea and I’m only evil part time. Usually I’m a relatively nice girl. Nice try Gerry!
Then something incredible happens... we talked about rugby AGAIN! What do people think this is? A rugby forum or something? Sheesh!
This time we have a good chat about Chuckie and his recent promotion to starting 15 which deserves a massive round of applause. Great bloke and I have a good feeling he won’t let us down. Can feel it in me waters I can.
Gerry works out that not only is Force1 Jonesey and AprilR, but he’s Newsbot too! This is met with cries of outrage and it is decided he must be sacrificed to the gods! Convo went a little something like this:
<jargan83> lets sacrifice him to our god
<travelling_gerry> to the god of??
<The_Lone_Hydrangea> which one?
<Badger84> guinness
<blueandblack> god of thunder
<Swee_82> AJ
<The_Lone_Hydrangea> ganesh
<The_Lone_Hydrangea> shiva
<tragic> tooth fairy
<Flamethrower> Bundy
<jargan83> swee got it
<Badger84> bogan?
<jargan83> or the guiness keg would have also been acceptable
<Badger84> no the vat is the god the keg is it's precher
Very informative!
B&B shares with us his 3 step life plan:
1) make HEUGLIEKXBOX brew
2) drink a pint every year for next 100 years
3) die of liver collapse
Jargan expects his life will turn out much the same. Dream big boys! Make us proud.
Jono is fashionably late but has a good excuse given he has been playing volleyball but not only did he miss out on a good few hours of our company, he lost the game and he landed awkwardly on his neck. This never would have happened if you stayed home and rolled into chat with the early birds. Gotta have your priorities right.
Convo now takes a nerdy turn for the worst when things like torrents and knight rider previews get discussed. At least we're not talking about rugby again! that would be weird.
Paula35 enters.... and then leaves pretty much immediately.
A bit of a trivia contest wraps up the chat for another Wednesday night, one which Coach wins pretty convincingly. Good thing our humble leader knows his stuff!
B&B does one last round with the vbeverage cart handing out bottled water for the road and everyone is bid goodnight.
Memorable mutterings:
<Flamethrower> Home Brew gets better the drunker you are
<Unnamed_Sauces> scandal from South Africa......Boof Hardy has been bitten by a gazelle during a wildlife safari
<NewsBot_21> Russel Crow has offered Henjak anger management advice.
* Daisy was kicked by Mtbeaver (get the f**k outa here)
<NAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOO> gargan said his life long ambition was to serve his rugby community and write the chat report
<@Coach> Are we allowed to say f**k yet?
*breathes out*
phew! glad I made it out alive! Enjoy!![]()
Last edited by Jess; 21-02-08 at 22:05.
I made Happy sad...
Excellent work Jess...
All in fava of Jess the permanent Chat Reporter???
I! (sorry Jess... was a top report!)
You have created a master piece, wow if only we had such a talented writer named jess to do the report every week!!! Hmmmmmmmm I have a cunning plan.
War is Gods may of teaching Americans Geography
I thought the Beav was the permanent chat reporter? Obviously cant handle the pressure. Nice work Jess.
the punters friend..... stick with me and you will be wearing
Jess never listen to one of Badgers "cunning plans"
Great report thougha truely glorious effort
Aww i even got a mention .. great report Jess, speaking of girlies - I was out at a breast cancer fundraiser last night at the Oxford Hotel. Managed to raise over $20,000 and Jedi and I scored a game of golf with Mr Welbourne![]()
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
that's wonderful news happy! good to hear you out supporting such a good cause!
Lets hope you play better against the Mayor than you did against Mr O'meara.![]()
I made Happy sad...
great report, sorry iv missed the last few weeks scince my pc went pop fizzle etc.
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Good entertaining stuff there Jess..
you guys are all too kind.![]()
I made Happy sad...
Jess, you were spot on. I didn't have a clue what I had walked into the other night...