My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned - I couldn't concentrate.

So I went bush and got a job as a logger, but I just couldn't hack it and they axed me.

I picked up a job as a tailors assistant, but I just wasn't suited for it and it was only a so-so job any way.

Next I tried working in a garage fitting mufflers, but that was way too exhausting.

I had a lash at cooking next, figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.

So I moved forward into the deli but even then, any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

I wound up busking, but I found I was anything but noteworthy and it all left me a bit flat.

I did a bit of deckhand work for a fisherman, but discovered that I just couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a pretty good job as a plumbers offsider, but the work was too draining.

Trying to remedy that, I found a job in a workout center but they also said I wasn't fit for the job.

I thought about going back to school and studying to be a doctor, but I had no patience for a course that long.

Instead I did history until I realised there was no future in it.

The familiarity with books got me a job at Borders though, albeit in the coffee shop, but it was just the same old grind.

THEN I RETIRED AND I FOUND I AM PERFECT FOR THE JOB!