There I was sitting in the pub, staring at my beer
when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next
to me, grabs my drink and sculls it in one swig.


"Well, whatcha gonna fuggin' do about it?" he says,
menacingly as I burst into tears.


"Come on, mate," the biker says,

"I didn't think you'd cry. I can’t stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life, I'm a complete failure.
I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me." I said

"When I went out to the carpark , I found my car had been stolen
and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home.
I found my missus in bed with the gardener and then my dog bit me.

So I came to the pub to work up the courage to put an end to it all,
I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the arsenic dissolve.
Then some arsehole shows up and drinks the whole thing!

But enough about me. How's your day going - mate?"