The Hormone Hostage

[Flamethrower]

The Hormone Hostage

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

1 DANGEROUS:
2 SAFER:
3 SAFEST:
4 ULTRA SAFE:

1 What's for dinner?
2 Can I help you with dinner?
3 Where would you like to go for dinner?
4 Here, have some chocolate.

1 Are you wearing that?
2 Wow, you sure look good in brown!
3 WOW! Look at you!
4 Here, have some chocolate

1 What are you so worked up about?
2 Could we be overreacting?
3 Here's my paycheck.
4 Here, have some chocolate.

1 Should you be eating that?
2 You know, there are a lot of apples left.
3 Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
4 Here, have some chocolate.

1 What did you DO all day?
2 I hope you didn't over-do it today.
3 I've always loved you in that robe!
4 Here, have some more chocolate.

[Jess]

*shakes head*... there is more to us women than chocolate. Apparently.

[Flamethrower]

Where would you like to go for dinner?

[Mtbeaver]

Haha, i think this might work!!

[Catalyst]

I know Im the last person to send mushy stuff.. But all guys should do
this..
Well maybe not all of them. where is the one about giving her sex!!

Kiss her in the movie theatres....
Hold her hand while you talk....
Tell her she looks pretty....
Look her in the eye when you talk to her....
Tell her stupid jokes....
Let her mess with your hair....
Just walk around with her....
Look at her like she's the only girl you see...
Tickle her even if she says stop....
When she starts swearing at you tell her you love her....
Let her fall asleep in your arms....
Get her mad, then kiss her....
Tease her and let her tease you back....
Stay up with her all night when she's sick....
Watch her favorite movie....
Kiss her forehead....
Write her letters....
If she asks you to go to a show with her,go....
Let her wear your clothes....
When she's sad, hang out with her....
Buy her ice cream....
Let her take all the photos of you she wants....
Kiss her in the rain...
And when you fall in love with her, tell her

[Jess]

I feel all warm and fuzzy inside after reading that. *sigh*

[fulvio sammut]

Cat, you're a weasel.

[Catalyst]

No not really I have noticed that by trial and error women are born negotiators so if you do something nice for them they do nice thing for you like when the rugby season is on and you don’t turn up until 2or 3 in the morning because you’ve been out celebrating with some mates and they don’t say anything

[Jess]

I'd be angry the guy didn't take me to watch the rugby too!
But that's just me I guess.

[RugbyFan]

geez, lucky I'm not married, i'd be in trouble every time i go out... getting home at 3am and 4am.

[The Lone Hydrangea]

I know Im the last person to send mushy stuff.. But all guys should do
this..
Well maybe not all of them. where is the one about giving her sex!!

Kiss her in the movie theatres....
Hold her hand while you talk....
Tell her she looks pretty....
Look her in the eye when you talk to her....
Tell her stupid jokes....
Let her mess with your hair....
Just walk around with her....
Look at her like she's the only girl you see...
Tickle her even if she says stop....
When she starts swearing at you tell her you love her....
Let her fall asleep in your arms....
Get her mad, then kiss her....
Tease her and let her tease you back....
Stay up with her all night when she's sick....
Watch her favorite movie....
Kiss her forehead....
Write her letters....
If she asks you to go to a show with her,go....
Let her wear your clothes....
When she's sad, hang out with her....
Buy her ice cream....
Let her take all the photos of you she wants....
Kiss her in the rain...
And when you fall in love with her, tell her

Christ im going to vomit. I read this poop in one of Mrs Hydrangeas No Idea.

[Flamethrower]

Here you go Cat Weasel, I found the full version you were not game enough to post.

Kiss her in the movie theatres.... It’s dark
Hold her hand while you talk.... Since when are we allowed to talk?
Tell her she looks pretty.... And duck!! She will think you are just after sex!
Look her in the eye when you talk to her.... HER WHAT???
Tell her stupid jokes.... She may get them
Let her mess with your hair.... What ever
Just walk around with her.... On a leash??
Look at her like she's the only girl you see... If she is watching
Tickle her even if she says stop.... I thought NO meant NO! You may end up in court following this one!
When she starts swearing at you tell her you love her.... And DUCK!!!!
Let her fall asleep in your arms.... Until you get thirsty
Get her mad, then kiss her.... Don’t Duck this time, RUN!!!
Tease her and let her tease you back.... Better if she rubs your back
Stay up with her all night when she's sick.... Yeah Right
Watch her favourite movie.... There may be some hot chicks in it. Or you just lost two hours of your life
Kiss her forehead.... If that’s your kink
Write her letters.... Why???
If she asks you to go to a show with her, go.... To a Strip Show????
Let her wear your clothes.... But when you want to wear hers, watch the sh#t hit the fan
When she's sad, hang out with her.... Try not to hang yourself
Buy her ice cream.... Do you want her fatter??
Let her take all the photos of you she wants.... Just don’t let her use a digital camera, you may end up on the Internet.
Kiss her in the rain... You might get lucky. You kinky devil
And when you fall in love with her, tell her... Dangerous ground!

[Jess]

well there goes my warm fuzzy feeling....

[JediKnight]

Quality work, FT!

[Burgs]

Ahh, back to reality....